Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Ratings for new Bristol Palin show flop; audience made up solely of her ex-boyfriends
6/21/2012 8:38 PM Matt Rock -
Bristol Palin, daughter of former half-term governor and bad VP decision Sarah Palin, is recuperating after learning that her new reality television show, “Life's a Tripp,” has bombed in ratings, right out of the starting gate.
According to Nielsen ratings, only 63 people tuned in to see the series premiere of the new show, which aired on the Lifetime network on Tuesday. Polling of the tiny audience conducted by PTP reveals a startling fact about that audience: It was entirely made up of her ex-boyfriends, including the father of her son, Tripp... perennial D-bag and walking, talking fail Levi Johnston.
“I only watched the show 'cus I wanted to see what my B-girl Bristol was up to,” said Jesse Foster, 23, who begged us to name him in this article as “Flo-Masta J-Rida,” and insisted he was going to be the next Eminem-style white rapper megastar. “But that shit was mad boring yo! They didn't show her boobies or nothing!”
Another ex-boyfriend, 47 year-old Lionel Reynolds, was equally let down by the premier. “I was Bristol's fling with an older guy. I thought it was fun, you know, having a 19-year old girlfriend. But then she started, you know, talking, from her mouth, out loud, in the air, the air I was breathing. I was hoping to see if she'd grown up at all, but all I got out of that lost hour of my life was a headache and an ulcer flare-up. Why did I leave my wife for this!”
Not all of the viewer reviews were bad, however. Palin's most recent fling, 26 year-old Austin McCoy, formerly of Georgia, who moved to California and now lives in Alaska, was enthusiastic about the program. “I love watching Bristol. I love watching her eat. Watching her sleep. Watching her. Always watching her. We shared a magical night together, one that I made happen through two years of sheer persistence. I love her! We need to be together again, even if I have to dig a hole in my basement! I'm coming for you Bristol! And you'll love me eternally! HA! HA HA HA HA HA!”
McCoy continued on like that as we backed away, terrified, and fled. Sorry we couldn't finish that interview, but yeah... that guy was crazy! He actually LIKED Bristol Palin's show! How scary is that?! - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|