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Romney campaign demanding media stop confusing outsourcing, offshoring
6/29/2012 3:15 PM Matt Rock -
The Romney campaign is in full defense mode this week after finding itself up against the ropes in polling, fighting off Bain Capital attacks and a media that confuses “outsourcing” with “offshoring.” And while team Romney can't really defend itself against the Bain attacks, shy of building a time machine that is, they have been quick to adapt a tactic of differentiating between outsourcing and offshoring.
“The two couldn't be any more different,” explained Romney Campaign Manager Matt Rhoades, who phoned PTP earlier to clear up the differences between the two for us. “With offshoring, American jobs are sent overseas directly. American workers are screwed, but their pants and underwear are removed, so it's more like traditional sex. Workers just lie down and bend over, all nude, and take it. But with outsourcing, companies ship services overseas. Americans are screwed with their pants on, so it's more like dry-humping. It's less dirty. I mean, teenagers do it all the time... you can't get STD's or pregnant from a friendly little dry-hump, can you?”
We asked Rhoades which of those Mitt Romney did during his career in the private sector. “Oh hell, I don't even know, if I'm honest. But I mean, if you look at Bain Capital and how it made him a millionaire, more than he already was a millionaire from his family's wealth I mean, you end up asking yourself, `does it really matter?' If you get screwed with your pants on or off, you're still getting screwed.”
Rhoades realized he was heading off in the wrong direction, and quickly corrected himself. “And that's why we need to stop Obama at all costs! His regulations are screwing the companies! And if you think about it, you're never having sex with just your partner, but everyone they've ever had sex with as well. Do you want to have sex with Mitt Romney AND Barack Obama? I didn't think so. You just want to have sex with Barack, because let's be honest here, he's a handsome guy. So that's why you should get on Medicaid and... No, wait! Shit!” - Return to Previous Page
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