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Roberts breaks tie, upholds Obamacare; says he's “even” for botching Obama's inauguration
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6/28/2012 3:15 PM Matt Rock - In a stunning show of judicial bipartisanship, Chief Justice John Roberts of the United States Supreme Court cast a tie-breaking vote in favor of the Affordable Care Act, also known as “Obamacare,” earlier today, allowing the legislation to carry forward without its constitutionality being called to question down the road.

But far more surprising is the reason why Chief Justice Roberts voted in favor of “Obamacare.” In a rare exclusive interview, Roberts explained his decision to PTP just moments ago. And while some are expressing concern that Roberts may have tilted the vote in a move to benefit the Romney campaign, his heartfelt explanation will stun you even more.

“I really botched President Obama's inauguration,” said Chief Justice Roberts, with what sounded like Antonin Scalia crying in the background of the phone conversation. “I said the wrong thing, and it caused Barack to stumble a little. It was embarrassing for him, and to some lesser extent for me as well. But we're even now. Hopefully he'll agree that this makes up for my gaffe back in 2009.”

We tried to contact the White House to get President Obama's take on Chief Justice Roberts' comment. However, the White House switchboard operator said she couldn't “be bothered to place that call,” because she was too busy sitting on a photocopier getting 500 copies of her butt printed up. We could hear what sounded like a pretty big party happening in the background, and for a moment, we almost think we heard President Obama ordering a staffer to “toke it like you mean it.” We'll have more on this as it develops.
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