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Obama, Romney trade blame for heat wave
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7/1/2012 9:30 AM Matt Rock - The heatwave that's gripping almost the full nation this weekend has certainly caused tempers to flare. But perhaps the angriest voices of them all belong to the two men competing for the presidency... incumbent President Barack Obama, and his rival, presumptive GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney.

“I think it's pretty obvious that Obama caused this heat wave,” Romney proclaimed, speaking at an early morning fundraiser breakfast earlier today. “This is what happens when you regulate the free markets. It makes businesses unwilling to crank up their air conditioning and open their doors and windows, which would cool the air throughout Amercia... sorry, I mean `America.' If they tried that, this administration would cry foul and scream about global warming, which isn't really a thing, because if it was, we'd be in the middle of a continental heat wave right now, which we are! Why doesn't Obama care about the environment?”

A few moments later, President Obama made a similar comment about Romney, while also speaking at a fundraising event. “This heatwave has many contributing factors. Some are natural, and some are man-made. But factories, like the mannequin factory that manufactured Mitt Romney, definitely play a substantial role in climate change. Now, I'm not saying Mitt Romney is at fault here, but this heatwave is totally Mitt Romney's fault, because that stupid jerk hates the poor!”

One scientist, however, offers a different explanation for the heat wave. “I've been studying heat wave cycles. They seem to come every four years, always during election years. My theory is that politicians -- not just presidential candidates, but candidates in other races, too – are causing global warming themselves. Because more than factories, automobiles, farms releasing tons of methane into the atmosphere, or any other source, politicians produce the most hot air of anyone or anything.”
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