Pardon The Pundit News Feed
John Roberts announces ideological shift after string of GOP attacks
7/5/2012 8:21 PM Matt Rock -
Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Roberts announced earlier this evening that after careful consideration, he has decided to completely shift his ideological stance from being a staunch conservative to that of a moderate-left fiscal liberal and a moderate-right social conservative.
“I took a lot of flak over my Obamacare vote,” explained Chief Justice Roberts in an interview with PTP. “All of my conservative friends have stopped talking to me. I was turned away at the door from Rush Limbaugh 4th of July `I look like this when I'm eating apples' pig roast. I feel like my best friends are my worst enemies now, and all because I broke party lines and voted with my heart and my head.”
Roberts says the cuts have been deep, too. “I went from having nearly 200 Facebook friends down to 86 in the past week. I can't take care of my farm without help. Who will help me harvest crops now? Glenn Beck and George W. Bush were awesome at Farmville, and now they won't talk to me! My strawberries are getting killed by Obamacare!”
To get a different perspective on Chief Justice Roberts' ordeal, we contacted presumptive GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney to get his take on GOP exodus. “Roberts is a tool. How can you betray your friends like that and not even care about it? Screw his Farmville farm, and screw him. In fact, me and (Bill) O'Reilly and (Rick) Scott are planning a massive attack on his yard in Backyard Monsters! Don't publish this before 8 pm though, we don't want him to know it's coming! But yeah, I totally de-friended his ass. Dislike!” - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|