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Paul Ryan releases tax returns, wrote off “eye gloss” in 2010, 2011
8/18/2012 3:05 PM Matt Rock -
On Friday, Paul Ryan released his 2010 and 2011 tax returns, surpassing what Mitt Romney has released by a considerable margin. The congressman and GOP vice presidential candidate hasn't stirred nearly the same controversy as the head of his ticket, Romney, who only partially released his 2010 returns and an estimate for 2011, but he has vowed to not release more than those two years.
But one write-off has left the media's eyes rolling: as a business expense, Ryan wrote off more than $8,000 worth of “eye gloss,” a cosmetic product that can be applied directly to the eyeballs, making them look sexier and more entrancing. Ryan notes that the eye gloss “helps with political campaigns” and also lets him “get away with stripping Medicare from the elderly, which they don't notice, because I give them my sexy stare.”
Eye gloss is popularly used by celebrities and politicians known for their attractive eyes. Stars that use the product include Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Jake Gyllenhaal, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jude Law, and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Paris Hilton has also been known to use eye gloss, though experts note that “nothing can be done to enhance a face like that.”
Not all eye gloss users have positive results, though. Many female politicians suffer from “crazy stare syndrome,” which results from applying too much eye gloss, leaving the user with cold, hard, sharp, evil-looking eyes, and often ruining photo ops by making them come across as a psycho. Michele Bachmann, Nancy Pelosi, and Ann Coulter are the most famous over-users of eye gloss, to the point where they often look like bath salts abusers in photographs. - Return to Previous Page
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