Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Obama, speechwriters bought marijuana to work on legalization speech
8/19/2012 7:05 AM Matt Rock
Sources inside the White House reported this morning that President Obama, along with speechwriters in the administration's communications department, allegedly purchased three pounds of marijuana this weekend, for use as “research material” for a surprise legalization speech that team Obama is preparing for sometime next week.
Our sources told PTP this morning that President Obama and his body man, Marvin Nicholson, joined White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer in an unmarked, low-profile presidential motorcade on Friday, visiting the home of Hollywood comedy star Seth Rogen, who sold the leader of the free world approximately 3.14 pounds of “Hawaiian Snow,” a highly-concentrated form of cannabis, after which the group stopped for pie, noting they had “pi pounds of pot,” so they'd need “pi pounds of pie” to combat the munchies they'd endure after smoking it.
It remains unclear what the president's pot speech will be about, or if they'll even get around to writing it, after having spent the entire weekend eating Doritos and debating the pros and cons of underwear. Some believe the president might make a hard switch in his stance on marijuana legalization sometime before the election, coming out in favor of the widely-popular movement in an effort to score votes. Mitt Romney might also try to endorse the legalization movement, though most analysts and pundits agree that you'd have to “smoke a whole lot of wacky tabaccy” if you wanted to understand where exactly he personally stands on most issues. - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.