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Ryan defends himself for supporting Bush's stimulus while bashing Obama's
8/19/2012 9:27 PM Matt Rock -
MSNBC recently discovered that Mitt Romney's running mate, Congressman Paul Ryan, argued in favor of President Bush's stimulus plan from 2002, noting that “in recessions, unemployment lags on well after a recovery has taken place.” This stands in sharp contrast with the comments Ryan has made regarding Obama's larger, more comprehensive stimulus, where Ryan labeled it an evil Kenyan terror plot of anti-biblical, super-socialist proportions.
Today, Ryan called the best news organization on this planet and second-best in this solar system, PTP, to set the record straight. “Look, the differences between Bush's stimulus package back in the early 2000's, and Obama's stimulus, are resoundingly clear. So clear, in fact, that I don't need to bore you with the details, because that's how clear it is! We're talking really, really clear... like, Saran Wrap, plexiglass, Wonder Woman's airplane... clear!”
We asked Congressman Ryan to elaborate, rather than repeating the word “clear” over and over again. “Okay, you need examples? President Bush was born in Texas, and Obama `claims' he was born in Hawaii. Bush is like, fifteen years older than Obama. And then you have the obvious stuff, like one is Republican and the other is a dirty liberal commie Democrat, one believes in the sanctity of life and the other hates babies... the differences between them is pretty obvious!”
We explained to Ryan that he was merely reciting differences between President Obama and former President Bush, rather than noting the differences in their stimulus plans. At this point, we mysteriously lost our phone connection. When we attempted to call Ryan back, an operator that sounded a lot like Paul Ryan emulating a woman's voice said “do-do-do! I'm sorry! The dude you're trying to reach, like, isn't home and shit! Call back later, like, tomorrow or something bro!” - Return to Previous Page
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