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Congress investigating new Facebook organ donor tool, worried about stolen kidneys
5/1/2012 8:15 PM Matt Rock -
Congress will be holding a special hearing next week with regards to Facebook's recently-announced organ donor tool, which Facebook claims is designed to make the process of becoming an organ donor easier. Mark Zuckerberg, who was subpoenaed earlier today, says he doesn't understand why Congress is investigating the tool, but members of Congress were quick to explain the reasoning behind the investigation.
“Facebook never presents you with the option to do something, or to make a change. They make those changes for you,” said House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, who along with Majority Leader Eric Cantor is spearheading the bipartisan investigation. “So Congress does find it fishy that Facebook is suddenly getting involved in organ donation. There's a genuine concern here that some people might wake up in a few days without kidneys.”
“Timeline is crap. No one likes it. But they're forcing it on people anyway,” said Cantor, with Pelosi sitting beside him nodding with a frown. “Look back over the full history of Facebook, and you're going to see a number of changes that users hated, but Facebook forced on people. So Republicans and Democrats are coming together on this one. Facebook needs to be stopped. People's lives are at stake.
House Speaker John Boehner sobbed for several minutes, but then finally weighed in, his orange cheeks stained with tears. “Facebook has terms of use, right? Every website has them. But where are they? I'll tell you where... tucked away at the very bottom of the page, way down below all of the posts that are several hours old! And who reads those `terms' things, anyway? What has that sort of time? I'm confident this investigation will get to the bottom of Facebook's organ donor program, before innocent Americans wake up with missing body parts. Luckily for me, however, Facebook can't use my organs. They all look, smell, and taste like Tang.” - Return to Previous Page
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