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BP criminal investigation spreads; local fast food manager indicted
5/3/2012 3:18 PM Matt Rock -
The criminal investigation into the catastrophic BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico in 2010 has resulted in two indictments thus far. The first was that of 11-year old Lindsey Powell, who allegedly haggled with a BP safety inspector, which made him late for work on the day of the spill. The newest indictment, however, goes straight to the top... of a Florida fast food restaurant.
29 year-old Kevin Fowler of Sarasota, Florida, who became the manager of a local Burger King in July of 2009, allegedly asked one Francine Hill, who is 34 today, to leave his store after Hill reportedly yelled at one of the store's employees, demanding her meal should be free. Fowler threatened to call the police after Hill launched a large order of french fries at the employee.
Authorities say that after Hill left the store and returned to her apartment, she called her older brother, Oscar Hill, 39, to “vent off some steam.” Oscar Hill was working on the Deepwater Horizon rig, and knocked over a large soft drink while trying to answer his cell phone, spilling its contents onto sensitive computer equipment, which could have prevented the disaster otherwise.
“Kevin Fowler is in custody. We had to rough him up a bit, but his mouth still works,” explained FBI Director Robert Mueller. “He kept demanding his phone call, a lawyer, all that nonsense people ask for in movies. I can tell you this much, I'll never eat at another Burger King again. Their slogan says you can `have it your way.' By that, they apparently mean billions upon billions of dollars worth of damage, destroyed industries that won't fully recover in our lifetimes, and the needless murder of more wildlife than any of us could possibly fathom. Sounds like a `whopper' alright.”
When investigators raided Fowler's tiny two-bedroom apartment in Sarasota, they confiscated his computer. Department of Justice officials claim they've found nearly two gigabytes of pornographic photos and more than three hundred gigabytes of pornographic videos, illegally-downloaded Adam Sandler movies, and more than three video games, which they believe Fowler used as training tools for what is being described as one of the worst acts of domestic terrorism since September 11th.
“This was a truly sick mind at work here,” said Mueller. “Porn, video games, Adam Sandler... normal people look at this guy, and they can't understand how his disturbing, twisted mind works. But what's important is that he's been captured, water-boarded, and we're feeding him only Applebees, which is technically food, but really, really gross. American people, one, bad guys, zero.” - Return to Previous Page
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