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Mitt Romney attempts to honor Beastie Boy Adam Yauch, raps horrifically at event
5/4/2012 10:04 PM Matt Rock
Mitt Romney, hoping to court younger voters in yet another effort to prove that he's a human, attempted to pay homage to Adam Yauch (“MCA”) of legendary New York rap/ punk/ rock trio the Beastie Boys, who shockingly passed away this morning at the age of 47 after nearly three years of fighting cancer. Romney, taking the stage at a campaign event in Virginia an hour ago, rapped and danced for a few moments, until he was booed off the stage.
“I've never heard the Beastie Boys' music, so I can't claim to be a fan,” Romney explained prior to his embarrassing performance. “But his music inspired countless millions of Americans, and it would be wrong of me not to acknowledge that. So, I've prepared a little tribute, a song I wrote. I worked on this all afternoon, I hope you like it.”
Romney then dove head-first into his song, waving his arms in the air while attempting to rap.
“My name is Mitt Romney and I'm here to say, taxes for the wealthy are too high today! Poor people want the rich to pay for booze and snacks, but me and all my friends think that is totally wack! So vote for Mitt Romney because he'll raise the bar. He'll strap your homeys and your `dogs' to the roof of his car! Obama thinks he's hip but Romney's here to tell ya, don't believe what he says, that guy was born in Kenya! So vote for Mitt Romney in 2012, let's get Obama a job where he's stocking shelves, because America needs to return to its glory days, before the poor occupied and the army allowed gays. I'm Mitt Romney and I approved this ad, so vote for me because I'm totally rad! PEACE!”
Mitt Romney then dropped his microphone on stage and crossed his arms, nodding assertively as the audience roared with boos, jeers, and even threats. The Romney campaign is expected to release a statement soon where they will apologize for Romney's terrible performance, to both his supporters, Beastie Boys fans everywhere, and the American people.
From the staff here at PTP, who wore their ear goggles while writing this article, rest in peace Adam Yauch. - Return to Previous Page
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