Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Obama announces new plan for redistributing wealth
5/6/2012 3:17 PM Floyd Harden -
President Obama kicked off his re-election campaign yesterday by calling on working class Americans to rob the rich.
Speaking at a rally at Ohio State University in Columbus, Obama told a crowd of enthusiastic supporters “With a Congress that refuses to do what I tell them, I have no choice but to call on hard working Americans to take matters into their own hands. That’s why today I am announcing my ‘Rob the Rich’ initiative. I want all the regular folks all across America to go find some rich folks and rob the hell out of them. Now, I want to stress that I am in no way condoning violence against any segment of American society, no matter how much those rich bastards deserve it. I’m simply saying that it’s okay to threaten a beat down on any cat who got fat on the backs of the middle class and who now refuses to part with some capital gains in order to address the unprecedented gap between the top one percent and everybody else in this country. Think of it as a tax on the rich – only a little more efficient and a lot more, uh, direct. But let’s not take this thing too far. Let’s not rob the good rich people out there, only the bad ones. That’s why, when you go to BarackObama.com and click on the button that says Rich Folks Who Got It Coming, you’ll find a list of rich folks who got it coming with names, addresses, net worth, party affiliation – here’s a clue: they’re all Republicans - that sort of thing. So middle class Americans, think of yourselves as a bunch of Robin Hoods, only instead of stealing from the rich and giving to the poor you’ll just be stealing from the rich. Talk about simplifying the tax code, what a great first step!”
Obama ended the rally by calling on poor people to do their part. “You folks who have fallen out of the middle class can join in, too. Once the middle class folks have gotten rich robbing the rich people, you can step in and rob those folks. America, this is trickle-down economics that actually trickles down! But this next part is the real beauty of the Rob the Rich initiative. After the poor have robbed the newly-wealthy-former-middle-class, the former-rich-now-middle-class can rob the former-poor-now-rich. When that happens, the economy will be moving like gangbusters! Money will be changing hands all over the place. It’ll be like one big fat game of socialist monopoly and I’ll be king, uh, I mean chancellor, uh, I mean chairman, uh, I mean President of the whole dang shebang! Obama 2012! Woo hoo!!!” - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|