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Will Smith called a communist, birthplace questioned after asking to pay higher taxes
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5/8/2012 8:22 PM Matt Rock - Iconic Hollywood film star Will Smith recently said that he likes the idea of the wealthy paying higher taxes, and that he'd be willing to do it because “America has been fantastic” to him, and that he'll pay whatever he needs to to “keep [his] country growing.” But as the story begins to spread, so too does the rumor that Will Smith wasn't born in America, and is in fact a Chinese communist spy.

“He claims that he was born and raised in west Philadelphia, and spent most of his days on a playground. But is that really true?” asked Florida Congressman and semi-crazed conspiracy theorist Allen West. “He claims he was hanging out and shooting some basketball on the grounds of a public school, but he admits he fell in with a bad crowd. Were those bullies? Or were they Chinese spies, planting him with his uncle in Los Angeles who JUST SO HAPPENED to be a government official?!”

West paused for a moment, doing the Carlton dance as a passerby's ring-tone played Tom Jones, before collecting himself and continuing. “They call him `Mr. Fourth of July.' They claim he has that nickname because he tends to release huge blockbusters on July fourth. But think about it. What is July fourth synonymous with? That's right... fireworks. And fireworks explode. Now, I'm not saying Will Smith is a terrorist... I'm not insinuating that. But is it outlandish to ask the question? I don't think it is.”

“I think Will Smith is setting a bad example for our youth. A true patriot would pay no taxes, or in the very least they'd fight tooth and nail to pay as little taxes as possible. A real patriot doesn't love America... they love individualism, and the idea that the government never helps anyone that actually needs that help. It's called `tough love,' and maybe if Mr. Smith spent some more time in a Philly ghetto and less time spying on America's wealthiest citizens in an elaborate Chinese terrorist spy network, he'd know a thing or two about it.”
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