Pardon The Pundit News Feed
PTP staff finally report in from George Clooney's Obama fundraiser party
5/11/2012 3:21 PM Matt Rock
Hollywood superstar George Clooney held a massive fundraiser for President Obama last night, raising a record-setting $15 million during the event. The party was packed to the brim with A-listers, including the President himself and his entourage. And even though the event was closed to the media, PTP did manage to sneak a crafty team of journalists into Clooney's home to bring you exclusive details from the party.
Floyd Harden, Alyson Durden, Will Daring, and Frank were able to sneak into the party completely undetected by security. Floyd, a master of disguise, posed as one of Brad Pitt's 97 children. Alyson plowed her face with makeup to look like a sober Lindsey Lohan, which no one had ever seen, and which was enough to trick partygoers. Will Daring, meanwhile, daringly entered the party dressed as a caterer. Sadly though, Frank attempted to gain entry wearing one of those campy Groucho Marks nose/ glasses/ eyebrows masks. He was shot as he tried to gain entry through a window, but this being Hollywood, the gun was fake, so instead, they simply grabbed him. We haven't heard from him since.
As the party started, the PTP team infiltrated and mingled with Hollywood's elite. They drank gobs of booze, they chatted up celebrities by the pool, they listened to James Cameron blathering on and on about the 37 Avatar movies he's planning, and they watched famed producer Harvey Weinstein choke three women to death with one hand after a fourth woman admitted she'd never seen “Sin City.”
But apparently, the PTP team was so starstruck (and, well, intoxicated) that they managed to entirely miss speeches offered up by Clooney and President Obama, and each told Greg and I that they blacked out at some point in the night, regaining consciousness today. Floyd found himself waking up in a winery in Napa. Alyson found herself in bed, rolling over to see Steve Buscemi, but after rubbing her eyes a bit she realized it was actually Ryan Gosling. Will Daring was the last to report in, waking up in a hotel room in Las Vegas with George Lucas, dressed in a Princess Leia slave costume, was chained by his ankle to a pool table where Harrison Ford and Tom Hanks were engaged in a riveting round of 9-ball.
In the end, we all learned something pretty valuable from last night's Obama fundraiser: Next time, Greg and I will go ourselves! - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Nick Di Paolo Live at the Drafthouse Comedy Theater
Na'im Lynn Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
James Adomian Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Fortune Feimster Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Andy Dick Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Sean Patton from Late night with Jimmy Fallon and Conan at LivingSocial's 918 F Street June 14th & 15th
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.