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Millions of Americans to go without daily Obama emails on Sunday
5/12/2012 10:30 AM Matt Rock
Countless millions of American citizens will need to suffer for a whole 24 hours tomorrow (Sunday, 5/13) without getting even one email, tweet, or Facebook status update from President Obama. Americans are being informed today via emails and social networking updates that the sudden disappearance of White House spam tomorrow will be nothing to worry about.
The White House revealed early this morning that the President's desktop PC will be undergoing maintenance, and that Communications Department staff have urged the President not to send his daily messages out via his Blackberry, because no human is capable of writing lengthy messages on a cell phone without hefty typos, despite most Americans believing they can anyway.
“This sucks. I don't know what I'll even use the Internet for on Sunday,” said Jennifer Edwards, 33, an Obama supporter in Arlington, Virginia. “The President emails me every 15 minutes, reporting everything from stupid crap Republicans said, to each bowel movement he makes during the day, and then he always tries to hit me up for money afterwards. But this? This is like inbox Stockholm syndrome. I don't know what I'm going to do without his daily spam!”
One anonymous bunker-dwelling Obama supporter explained to PTP that he thought something fishy was going on. “I know a conspiracy when I see one, man! You can build a whole new computer in a few hours, from scratch, man! It shouldn't take a whole day to fix Obama's PC, man. This involves ALIENS AND MAYANS! Oh, duh, almost forgot to add `Man' there... man!” - Return to Previous Page
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