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GOP figures lash out against Betty White, labels her “socialist,” “domestic terrorist”
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5/12/2012 3:15 PM Matt Rock - Hollywood starlet Betty White is under fire today by the GOP and the Tea Party after the 90-year old actress recently endorsed President Obama, the first such endorsement she's ever made. Conservatives are saying that White, who told the Associated Press that she always avoided politics because she didn't want to upset any of her fans and that she's very bi-partisan, is a socialist, a Chinese spy, and “most likely also a terrorist,” as Allen West of Florida put it.

“That does it. I'm done trusting Hollywood stars,” said House Speaker John Boehner of White's recent endorsement, tears flowing in true trademarked fashion. “Every time I start to think I'm becoming someone's fan, they reveal that they're an evil, Godless liberal like this. You know, I was half-way through season three of `ER' on DVD before George Clooney held his `I hate America' fundraiser dinner... a dinner to which I wasn't invited. Screw Hollywood! Screw Betty White!”

“I think it's a bit strange that Betty White has come out in favor of Obama all of the sudden,” said Glenn Beck, during his radio show that no one listens to anymore. “I'm not saying she's a prostitute, I would never say that, but I'd like to follow the money a bit. Did Barack Obama pay Betty White and abuse the power of the Oval Office to give Betty White a huge comeback, all so she'd endorse him several months before an election he was surely going to lose to Mitt Romney otherwise? It seems fishy to me, that's all I'm saying.”

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor offered a different view of the situation. “I'm not surprised another Hollywood star has gone to Obama. They're his sort of people. And it's not like Republicans don't have celebrities! We've got... uh... Chuck Norris, and Ted Nugent, that blonde lady from `SNL' whose name no one can ever remember, and probably more stars. You might call them washed-up has-beens, but I call them American patriots! So take that, Hollywood elites!”
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