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Kevin Costner offers services to President Obama, wants to be his bodyguard
5/13/2012 9:00 PM Matt Rock -
Hollywood actor Kevin Costner announced today that he is endorsing President Obama in his incumbency bid, just as he had in 2008, and that he hopes to play an active role in the President's campaign... as a bodyguard. Costner released the following statement to the media to explain his decision:
“Hello, my name is Kevin Costner. You may remember me from such films as `Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves,' where I showed my butt, `Waterworld,' where I showed my butt, and `Dances with Wolves,' where I showed my butt. I'm officially announcing my endorsement for President Barack Obama to win re-election in 2012, and I'd like to invite you to join me this week at the Midnight Star Casino, Jake's Restaurant, and Diamond Lil's Sports Bar, in Deadwood South Dakota. Yes, the town from that HBO show.”
“But I'm not just offering my endorsement to the President. I'm also offering my services to him. You see, most Hollywood stars only get involved with a quick endorsement, and maybe a monetary donation. Some stars, like George Clooney and Eva Longoria, are getting more hands-on-involved with the President's campaign, so I want to contribute more, like they do.”
“Looking back at my filmography, there's one job, and one alone, that I could do for him, and do well: `Bodyguard.' Back in 1992, I was in a movie called `The Bodyguard,' where I `didn't' show my butt, along with Whitney Houston, who on several occasions hid drugs inside her butt. I might be older now, closing in on sixty, but I can still rock out with a guitar, and unlike most Hollywood `musicians' like Keanu Reeves or Johnny Depp or Jared Leto, I actually have talent!”
PTP called Costner to ask if there were any reasons why he decided to endorse Obama in 2012. “Well, I supported him in 2008, you know, but this time around, with all the BP oil spill lawsuits I'm dealing with, I almost said `screw it, I don't have time for it.' But then he came out in favor of gay marriage. My two biggest fan bases are women that were in their 40's in the 90's, and gay guys, both of whom love staring at my bare meatloaves in 99.9% of the movies I've ever been in. I love making my fans happy, which is why I'll keep showing my bare buns in movies for decades to come. And if President Obama is a friend to my fans, then I am, in turn, a friend and a fan of his!” - Return to Previous Page
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