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Scott Walker answers embezzlement claims while shredding paper
5/17/2012 8:37 PM Matt Rock -
PTP sat down earlier today with Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, who faces a challenging recall election next month as the result of his efforts to strip union rights in the State. When we arrived at Walker's office, his staff was quite busy, bustling about as they frantically searched through storage boxes, shredded legal-looking documents, erased voice mail messages, emptied their email inboxes, and watched us nervously as we followed the Governor into a private room.
“Are you wearing a wire? You aren't investigative journalists, are you?” Walker asked as we sat down. “Not that I have anything to hide. I was an Eagle Scout. I'm as honest as apple pie, and apple pie is pretty honest, since it doesn't have a brain to remember secrets or a mouth to lie with. Hungry?”
After we said we were fine, we asked Governor Walker what all of the commotion was about. “Oh, that?! Don't worry about that. Just some, uh, spring cleaning... recycling paper and, uh, freeing up storage space for data so, uh... you know, so servers don't have to work as hard and use up more energy. We're, uh, going green. Yeah... that's it. Green all the way!”
We then asked the Governor if he had anything to say about the recent criminal charges brought against five members of his staff for allegedly embezzling money from a trust fund for veterans. “Now look here, I'm a man of the people, and most veterans are people! I would never, ever do anything to hurt or steal from veterans!”
We asked why the Governor's hands were both behind his back as he made that statement. “What? Oh, this is just my natural posture! This is how I stand around! My fingers most certainly aren't crossed back there... no sir, no how! What's with the fifty questions, anyway? Are you wearing a wire? No, we went over that already. Damn it! Look, you guys better get out of here. I have some... uh... unimportant documents that aren't related to any criminal cases I may have lawyered up for, that I, uh, need to, you know, `recycle.' Walker 2012!” - Return to Previous Page
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