Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Millions flee the US after reports surface that Bush is returning to the White House
5/20/2012 8:15 PM Matt Rock
An international refuge crisis has crippled North America this weekend, with tens of millions of Americans seeking safety in Mexico, Canada, and the Caribbean, after it was reported on Friday, somewhat falsely, that former President George W. Bush would be “returning” to the White House on May 31st.
Headlines falsely stated that Bush would be “returning” to the White House, not reporting until the body of their copies that he was returning in no official capacity for a portrait to be hung at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. More than seventy organizations in the United States and abroad are filing lawsuits against seven news agencies and blogs over the fallout from their sensationalized headlines.
By 11:59 pm EST on Friday, hours after the story first broke, nearly 70,000 Americans fled the country, 93% of them illegally crossing the borders into Mexico and Canada. By that same time on Saturday, nearly 24 million had left. At this hour, as of this article being published Sunday evening, approximately 58 million American refuges have fled the United States, and analysts predict that well over 175 million might leave before the crisis is realized as a false alarm.
The United Nations is working feverishly, around the clock, to encourage those that fled to return to their homes. Local, State, and Federal law enforcement agencies have been placed on high alert, watching for outbreaks of looting, which so far have only happened in Detroit, not that anyone could really notice. But government officials assure us that Bush will NOT become President again, ever, and that no one has anything to fear. - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.