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New report shows members of Congress speak at high school sophomore level
5/22/2012 9:03 AM Matt Rock -
A new study by the Sunlight Foundation finds that members of the United States Congress speak publicly at the same level of high school sophomores... and no, PTP isn't making that up. They say that freshman Republicans, ushered in during the wave of 2010 Tea Party seeding, have the lowest speech grade levels of anyone.
“Like, it's so unfair! This is totes fails, LOL FML!” said Representative Mick Mulvaney (R-SC), who scored the lowest grade level in all of Congress, with his speech coming in at below the eighth-grade comprehension level. “I blame Obama for making us dumb by taxing rich people! Rabble rabble rabble! Like, where is his birth paper thingy? Dude, WTF!”
Sandy Adams, a Republican congresswomen from Florida's 24th, scrawled a letter to PTP written on loose-leaf paper, with little hearts dotting the eyes and smiley faces drawn almost everywhere there wasn't text. “Do you think I'm smarter than those meanies that say I talk stupid? Check the box below! Yes, No, or Maybe? Luv U 2much! - Sandy (smiley face)”
The news wasn't all bad for Republicans; Representative Dan Lungren (R-CA) had the highest grades of anyone in Congress, in either party. “I came into Congress well before any of these Tea Party dumb-dumbs showed up and mucked up the place,” said Lungren. “I've found it difficult to settle in with these people. I'm not foaming at the mouth, screaming about abortion, taxes, birth certificates, condoms, or the Constitution. I guess that makes me a RINO. I just can't wait until the American people boot these clowns in 2012. I don't even care if Republicans lose the House, or fail to take the White House or a majority in the Senate. I just want to surround myself with people that know how to breathe with their mouths closed!” - Return to Previous Page
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