Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Sarah Palin robocalls wrong State, says she's being mavericky
5/21/2012 8:16 PM Matt Rock -
Former half-term Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is backing Republican Ted Cruz of Texas in a hotly-contested primary fight in the Lone Star State, and according to residents of Kansas, which is north of Texas with Oklahoma between them, she's doing it Sarah Palin style... with robocalls going out to the wrong State.
The calls, which open up with a chipper “Hello, Texas!” voiced by Palin herself, have been received by numerous residents of Kansas... including a reporter at the Topeka Capital Journal, one of the few American newspapers that still exists. For her part however, Palin claims the calls to Kansas were intentional, and that she plans on calling numerous other States as well.
“You know, Ted Cruz wanted me to get involved with his campaign because I think like a box,” said Palin, when we called her today to ask about the story. “People say the phrase goes `think outside the box,' but why would you want to do that? Isn't the important stuff inside the box? Otherwise, why do you even want a box? So I think like the whole box. My brain is cardboard, even!”
“I wanted the American people to know that Ted Cruz is a great American patriot, who understands the real America and doesn't pal around with terrorists, don't-cha-know. This socialist Obamacare big government says it's wrong for someone to vote outside of their own State. I don't think that's what the Founding Fathers wanted for America. They wanted freedom, and momma grizzlies everywhere need to stand up and fight for the right to vote in whatever state they darn-well please... you betcha!”
“I went rogue here for real Americans that live in real America. People are saying it's wrong for us to be calling Kansas voters for a Texas election but I say no way, Joe say, this is mavericky! What? No, not `Jose,' that isn't even a thing, silly! You lamestream media reporters, always making up new words, like `Jose,' and `vitriolic,' and `hyperbole,' and `ignoramus.' You should be more mavericky and speak English! Our country invented this language so it can't be all that bad!” - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|