Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Romney goes on defensive after Bill Maher raises “wifer” questions
5/26/2012 3:06 PM Matt Rock
The Romney campaign has launched a major defensive today, after HBO pundit Bill Maher raised questions regarding Mitt Romney's marriage certificate, claiming he believes it is forged and suggesting the presumptive GOP nominee has multiple wives. Romney's senior staff, not apparently recognizing that Maher was joking, are kicking off a full-blown campaign to prove that Mitt Romney has only one wife, Ann Romney.
“Looking at the `birther' stuff Obama has had to deal with these past four years, we're committed to nipping this conspiracy theory in the bud,” said Romney Campaign Manager Matt Rhoades. “Governor Romney is devoutly committed to his relationship with his one and only wife, Ann. There aren't any sister-wives involved. He isn't `that' kind of Mormon.”
However, Rhoades' statement is being doubted by a group of conspiracy theorists that have already formed, less than 24 hours after Maher's jokes, identifying itself as – you guessed it – the Wifer movement. The group believes that Mitt Romney does have multiple wives, and claims they will not stop seeking “the truth” until several of their questions are answered.
“Look, [Rhoades] can say whatever he wants. We know the truth is out there, waiting to be discovered,” said the self-professed leader of the Wifers, 51-year old Stuart Ramsey of Topeka, Kansas. “Bill Maher was joking around, but we're not in this for laughs. We want the truth! How many homes does Mitt Romney own? Who lives in all of those homes when Romney and his supposed `only family' aren't using them? And why hasn't Romney shown us receipts for grocery shopping, and why did he take so long to show us his taxes, and why hasn't the mainstream media been asking these questions? I'll tell you why. There's a conspiracy here! And we're going to solve these questions once and for all!”
Romney himself has avoided commenting on the fast-growing wifer movement. Many campaign insiders state that Romney, who is extremely prone to public speaking gaffes, is being barred from microphones by senior campaign staff until the Republican-base firestorm over his recent austerity comments quiets down. - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.