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Obama, Boehner prank-call former Presidents, foreign leaders during Memorial Day hijinx
5/28/2012 8:10 PM Matt Rock
President Barack Obama and Speaker of the House John Boehner are in hot water this evening after allegedly prank-calling former Presidents Jimmy Carter, George Bush Senior, Bill Clinton, and George Bush Junior, as well as several foreign Heads of State, after the duo drank too many beers in the Oval Office together in what White House insiders are referring to as “a bipartisan effort to get totally shit-faced.”
According to our sources in the West Wing, Boehner was invited to the West Wing on official business, to discuss Citizens United. However, as the evening wore on, both men decided to drink a few beers while discussing the pros and cons of the controversial court decision, and by 8pm, one of them had convinced the other to start some prank calls.
“We don't know who started it, but we do know that if Jay Carney hadn't returned to the office when he did, there'd have been serious trouble,” said one anonymous senior-level White House source. “We'll be up all night calling people back to apologize, and to try and walk back some of the damage they've caused.”
Their first phone call was to Hu Jintao, President of China, claiming the US was facing a serious food shortage, and requesting foreign aid in the form of two-hundred tons of General Tso's chicken. Their second call went out to Greek Prime Minister Panagiotis Pikrammenos, demanding that Greece “try to stop sucking so hard.” Next, they put in a call to Japanese Emperor Akihito, asking him what the old Nintendo cheat code was for Konami games. After being told it was “up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A,” The President and the Speaker turned their prankster sights on domestic figures.
“They called Jimmy Carter asking if they still grew peanuts, Bill Clinton asking what his ten favorite pick-up lines were, and George H.W. Bush asking why his son was such a raging moron,” said one of our sources. “The drunker they got, the less-funny their jokes became. By the time they got to George W. Bush, they were just laughing hysterically and talking about non-alcoholic beer. For his part though, President Bush joined in the laughter. I'm pretty sure he was drinking too.” - Return to Previous Page
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