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Cory Booker, Michelle Obama propose “scared beefless” pro-vegetarianism campaign
5/29/2012 9:36 AM Matt Rock -
First Lady Michelle Obama is teaming up with Newark, New Jersey Mayor Cory Booker to launch a new food initiative in the United States which they hope will spark a new spread of vegetarianism and healthier eating. The program, tentatively titled “scared beefless,” would call for approximately 10% of the cattle slaughtered in the United States to be carried out by workers dressed as scary clowns, in the hopes of making their beef tougher, thus turning consumers toward fruits and vegetables.
“The theory goes that tougher, chewier beef is a direct result of the cow tensing up right before they die,” explained Obama, who is not a vegetarian, during a phone call with PTP this morning. “So we're proposing that we intentionally scare the cows during that process. If the meat gets tougher, consumers might look into healthier alternatives in the grocery store.”
“We aren't suggesting everyone becomes a vegetarian. We just want people to understand there are healthier options out there, even in meats,” said Booker, who is a vegetarian. “Ground turkey and chicken meat are great beef substitutes and are healthier, too. And we don't even want people to stop eating beef. We just want them to eat far less of it.”
However, opponents of the proposal are livid at the mere suggestion. “They want us to dress up like scary clowns and laugh at our cattle while swinging an ax at their heads? What the crap!” offered Clyde Brock, 47, who owns a cattle ranch in Tennessee. “I ain't no tree-hugging liberal sissy-pants, but I gotta tell you, this just seems... mean. But that's a vegetarian for you. You ever talk to a vegetarian before? They done ran out of ways to scare human-folk. I guess they're moving on to cattle now!” - Return to Previous Page
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