Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Romney gives up on vetting Trump after campaign stylists, barbers quit
5/29/2012 3:33 PM Matt Rock -
Insiders with Mitt Romney's presidential campaign reported to PTP earlier today that they were vetting casino mogul and reality television figure Donald Trump as a possible addition to the Romney ticket. Ours sources tell us that Trump was “very seriously considered to be a finalist,” and that “the only thing keeping [them] from picking Trump is all of the birther stuff that [Trump] won't shut up about.”
But all of that changed early this morning when Monica Lamb, Morris Bryant, Faye Thomas, and Belinda Hall – Team Romney's entire staff of stylists and Bryant, Romney's personal barber – handed in their letters of resignation, in protest of Trump being considered for the ticket.
Sources claim that the stylists lashed out against senior-level campaign staff when they learned two weeks ago that Trump was being considered, claiming they had no interest in servicing “The Donald's” toupee. Matters grew even worse when on Thursday of last week (May 24th), Campaign Manager Matt Rhoades and Communications Director Gail Gitcho called in the stylists to discuss if there was “anything that could be done with Trump's head to make him more bearable to look at.”
The last stand, according to our sources, happened this morning, when Romney himself told the stylists that if Trump were to be placed on the ticket, they would “work around the clock to make [Trump] look like less of a D-bag.” Approximately one hour later, all four stylists handed in their resignations.
“If our own staff are protesting this guy, we really shouldn't consider him any further,” said one top-level anonymous source inside the Romney campaign. “It's sad though. I really felt like he would have added something special to the ticket. In one hand, you'd have an out-of-touch millionaire bully who was born into wealth with a famous, rich father, whom most people refute is even human, and panders helplessly to radical right-wing extremists in the hopes of keeping their votes, all while touting himself as a brilliant economic mind based on decades of shady, underhanded, dirty business. And in the other hand, you'd have Mitt Romney!” - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|