Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Obama invites birthers to special evidence unveiling at the Grand Canyon
5/31/2012 9:30 AM Matt Rock
President Obama has decided to finally put birther myths to rest once and for all, announcing this morning that he'll be hosting a special event on a scenic ridge overlooking the Grand Canyon in July, granting birthers unprecedented access to his birth records, one-on-one interviews with doctors and nurses who attended his birth and are still alive, and a special showing of a never-before-scene video that was shot in the hospital while he was being born.
The White House is openly inviting all birthers to attend, and says they're even willing to pay for travel accommodations for larger groups of the conspiracy theorists. The event will feature live music, full catering, an open bar, and the Administration is even working with national Tea Party groups to organize a rally for his opponents during the event.
“There's nothing to be suspicious about. Nothing at all,” explained White House Press Secretary Jay Carney. “It's simple, really. We're showing all of the evidence anyone needs to see, and answering every question anyone wants to ask. All you have to do is come on down, and bring some of your birther friends along, too!”
However, PTP has learned from senior-level sources that something strange is afoot. “I've seen the plans, and it raises a few concerns,” says one such source. “We're supposed to build this pitch-black tunnel with a door on it, and the other end will extend out over the Grand Canyon. We'll tell the birthers to march into the tunnel, blindfolded for security reasons, and when they reach the end of the tunnel, `the truth will be revealed to them.' But there's a major safety concern here. Near the end of the tunnel, there won't be a floor, allegedly for `engineering purposes.' I'm worried some, or even all, of these people might fall into the Grand Canyon! Why would anyone want that to happen to the birthers is beyond me.” - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.