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Tea partiers crash 9-year old's “tea party,” scare her into becoming a Democrat
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6/3/2012 10:04 AM Matt Rock - Rachael Olson, a 9-year old resident of Dover, Delaware, received an unpleasant surprise yesterday afternoon when a literal tea party she'd organized with her mother, with invitations going to her friends and their mothers, unexpectedly transformed into a political Tea Party rally.

The event was scheduled to take place at 4pm EST at the Olson residence on McKee Road. Nine of the eleven invitees attended the party, as well as eight mothers and one dad. But when 8-year old Molly Carroll showed the frilly invitation to her parents, they reportedly confused it as a Tea Party rally.

By 4:15 pm, approximately thirty Tea Partiers arrived at the scene, hanging and burning Obama effigies and touting picket signs of Obama as the Joker, Obama as Hitler, and two Obamas kissing. They screamed about Obamacare, demanded to see the President's birth certificate, and rudely informed young Rachael Olson that giving away free tea and pastries was socialist, and that she had a great deal to learn about “real America.” The Olson's called the police, who broke up the impromptu backyard Tea Party rally. Two officers and six senior citizens were injured in the wake of the fracas.

“We crashed that party for FREEDOM! Something the left-wing lamestream media don't get!” explained Carl Romero, 49, a Delaware Tea Party activist with more tattoos than anyone PTP has ever interviewed. “When we found out it was an `actual' Tea Party, we decided to teach these kids what their schools won't teach them, that the founding fathers believed in capitalism and tax cuts for job creators and that America is a Christian nation, and everyone that ain't a Christian should git out! I also learned that Justin Bieber has some alright music, for a foreigner. He can sing me to sleep any night!”

“I don't know anything about politics, I mean, I'm only nine years old, but I know that I'm a democrat now,” said Rachael Olson, who spoke with us after her parents granted us an interview. “I know that Barack Obama is our President, and he smiles a lot and seems like a nice person, and Mitt Romney is a meanie who put a dog on the roof of a car. The Tea Party made me interested in politics, and as soon as I turn 18, I'll be a Democrat, all because of them!”
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Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful, and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.