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Florida publishes a list of voters they'll purge during ballot racism controversy
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6/3/2012 3:25 PM Matt Rock - The State of Florida is ignoring Federal warnings regarding their recent voter purge, wherein State officials have been cleaning house and emptying names from voter rolls. The State has been under fire recently for purging voters that they claim aren't US citizens, but so far, most have simply been people of color.

Florida Governor Rick Scott (R) has addressed the controversy with a press release, listing the guidelines that he wants State officials to follow in purging voter registrations. PTP is publishing a copy of this list here for our readers:

Everyone with a name that doesn't sound as American as “Rick Scott”

Everyone that voted for Barack Obama. He wasn't born here, and chances are, neither were the people that voted for him!

Anyone whose skin color is darker than Governor Scott's, excluding people with strong tans, like Snookie or John Boehner

Democrats. They're all socialists, and socialists aren't capitalists, but capitalists are American, so therefore, Democrats aren't American

College kids. They've all been indoctrinated into becoming Democrats. See above

Women. Don't blame Florida, it wasn't our fault liberals gave them suffrage!

Everyone that saw a “Muppets” movie in a theater in Florida or adjacent States, ever

Everyone that hasn't put a “like” on the Facebook pages of Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and/ or Ronald Reagan

Hollywood actors, and anyone that has ever lived in Hollywood, California. Not to be confused with Hollywood, Florida, the meth capital of the universe

Anyone and everyone that doesn't own a gun, or the many guns that would necessitate an entire (gun) rack

Canadians, like the one we took that last line from

Non-Christians. If a person isn't a Christian, they're probably a foreigner
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Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful, and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.