Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Arnold Schwarzenegger demands media stop saying “Total Recall” all night
6/5/2012 8:15 PM Matt Rock -
Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger held a brief press conference moments ago, demanding that numerous media outlets, including CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, PTP – hey, what did we do? – and others all cease from saying the phrase “Total Recall” for the duration of the evening, in reference to Wisconsin's gubernatorial recall election. He is also apparently outraged that everyone is photoshopping images of Walker over the “Total Recall” movie posters.
“GET TO DA CHOPPA!” Schwarzenegger screamed, while stamping out his cigar in Wolf Blitzer's beard. “I demand these reportahs stop printing LIES! Totall Recall was a movie-film starring me as a super-commando spy man fighting bad guys on MARS! It had nothing to do with da cheese State or Scott Walkuh! GET DOW-UN! COME GET ME, I'M HE-AH! IT'S NOT A TUMAH!”
One intrepid reporter from Reuters asked the Terminator if he had any predictions for the recall election. “I predict Scott Walkuh will make da other guy feel PAIN! But Walkuh lacks DISCIPLINE! WRALYAULRGHWALOHWLARGHLARLWLARWALR! You should not drink and bake! ASTA LA VISTA, BABY!”
An AP reporter then asked Schwarzenegger if he felt Chuck Norris' endorsement and phone-banking may have helped, or hindered, Walker's chances. “Chuck Norris is a sissy! I would break his neck like a CHICKEN! I would rip out his goddamn SPINE! WORLGHFFLARWARLAORGLARLWERL!”
Schwarzenegger then stormed off in his Hummer, running over several hybrids parked nearby as he yelled “I'll be back!” to the stunned, and offended, reporters. - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Hal Sparks Live at the Drafthouse
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|