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Bill Clinton defends President Obama after naughty fundraiser joke
6/7/2012 8:10 PM Matt Rock -
Conservatives are in an uproar over President Obama's recent Los Angeles fundraiser joke, where he stated that First Lady Michelle Obama is often criticized by him “because she doesn't go all the way down,” somewhat referring to doing pushups during her exercise routine.
But don't worry, Mr. President: help is on the way. Former President Bill Clinton issued a quick press statement today, via email, in the hopes of quelling the growing fallout over President Obama's seemingly poor choice of words. The following is copied word-for-word from Clinton's email:
Dear Press Folk,
Y'all are pretty upset about Barack's verbal gaffe, but I'm here to tell ya, I don't think it was an accident. President Obama was taking a serious issue head-on, an issue that negatively impacts the lives of millions of American men. An issue that leads to tremendous build-ups of stress in the lives of American males every single day. An epidemic that rubs men in all the wrong ways, and doesn't leave them feeling very satisfied. I'm talking, of course, about women doing pushups.
Allow me to explain this, y'all. When women do pushups, they usually just phone it in, doing them from their knees instead of their toes. That ain't no pushup. And believe-you-me, I don't usually complain when women do stuff on their knees. It's a good position for many women in their daily routines, you know, when they're gardening and stuff, yanking on weeds and handling hoses.
But pushups ain't supposed to happen like that. You gotta go all the way down. Really get down to the root of your pushup. Maybe play on the stairs a little before you get to your pushups. And if at first you don't succeed, y'all need to just keep working at it till you get some results!
I might not be wearing pants while I'm writing this, but let me tell you something ladies, you need to start doing some real pushups. For America! I might not be a doctor, but I've played doctor enough times to know that a real pushup is a healthy pushup. And if you ain't sweatin', well, you're doin' it wrong!
- Former President Bill Clinton - Return to Previous Page
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