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Michele Bachmann vows to never repeal the 3rd Amendment
7/16/2011 3:33 PM Matt Rock
While campaigning in Iowa earlier today, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann announced to the nation that she will never repeal the 3rd amendment, and went on to attack her rival GOP primary candidates, as well as President Obama, for not also taking such a firm stance on the new wedge issue.
“The third amendment is an important one,” said Bachmann, addressing a crowd gathered in a field near a local elementary school. “None of the other 2012 candidates are talking about this, which tells me they plan on repealing the 3rd amendment as soon as they take office. We can't have that, and as your President, I'll make sure the third amendment stays put, just like our Founding Fathers, like Abe Lincoln and Jesus Christ, would have wanted.”
The third amendment, which prohibits the government from garrisoning soldiers in privately-owned homes, is arguably the only amendment to have never been a hot-button campaign subject. That was, of course, until Representative Bachmann decided this morning that the issue was worthy of discussion. However, it didn't seem that Bachmann actually understood what the third amendment related to, when asked by someone in the crowd to elaborate.
“The third? That's, uh... the one that says the government... the Federal government can't... the Federal government isn't allowed... communism! You don't want a socialist President any more, do you? Of course you don't. Our founding fathers wrote in the Declaration of Constitution that America was founded on Christian values and capitalism. Obamacare!”
Bachmann went on to further question the intentions of her Presidential rivals. “I don't know what Thomas Jefferson would have said about the third amendment. What I can tell you though is that he would have fought tooth and nail to keep it in our Constitution's Bill of Sale. You can call me crazy, and some people do, but I'm on new medication to help balance me out, and since then I came to the conclusion that not enough candidates are talking about just how important the third amendment is. When it was ratified shortly after World War II, America changed for the better. Obama wants to get rid of it in the most socialist way possible. He wants to give the Constitution an abortion. A third amendment Muslim abortion. Do you want an abortionist in the White House? I didn't think so!” - Return to Previous Page
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