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Supreme Court refuses birther case, says they'd “outlaw stupidity” if they could
6/11/2012 8:20 PM Matt Rock
The Supreme Court shot down an appeal today that would have led to the high court ruling on President Barack Obama's citizenship, and in turn, his eligibility to be President of the United States. The court coupled their decision not to hear the case with harsh words for the birthers as well.
At first, the Supreme Court issued a brief, seven-letter explanation for their refusal, which read, quote, “LOL GTFO!” Three hours later, they released a more in-depth response to their decision to turn the birther conspiracy theorists away at the door.
“Why is this hard to understand?” the letter from the Supreme Court asked. “Obama was born in Hawaii. The State has verified it so many times they're probably printing up stock responses at this point. These idiots are eating up the valuable time of courts around the nation because they're too ignorant to come up with substantive arguments against President Obama's policies, and it sickens us. Seriously, you'd spend your time more productively if you spent all day farting in each other's mouths. At least then we'd know why the air coming out of your face is so full of shit. On behalf of all the Supreme Court justices: get bent. We'd outlaw stupidity if we could, and you jerks would be the first ones put against the wall! America has a black President with a funny-sounding name. Get over it.”
Birther Queen Orly Taitz, herself a foreigner and a failed US Senate candidate, was quick to issue a harsh comment in response to the Supreme Court's statement. “We expected this sort of result, seeing as how Obama single-handedly appointed everyone to the Supreme Court, most of them before he took office. But the truth is out there! We know that Obama was born in Kenya, and built a time machine in 2008, traveling back to the early 1960s so he could forge evidence of his birth in Hawaii! You can't fool us Obama, you pot smoker!” - Return to Previous Page
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