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Supreme Court acts to override first amendment, save world from Octomom porn
6/20/2012 8:20 PM Matt Rock -
The Supreme Court ruled today that the federal government would not be violating the first amendment if they were to stop, with legal action and violent property raids, the distribution of pornographic materials starring 36-year old Nadya Suleman, better known as “Octomom.”
Shortly after the Supreme Court's unanimous decision, President Obama gave the go-order for an FBI raid on the headquarters of Wicked Pictures, the porno company that produced the film. Simultaneous raids were carried out by local and State law enforcement on DVD duplication and warehouse facilities in four different locations throughout southern California. Twelve people and eight sex toys were wounded during the sieges.
“My administration saved the American car industry, killed Osama Bin Laden, and ended the war in Iraq,” President Obama announced, while addressing the White House Press Corp in the Rose Garden. “But stopping the Octomom porn will go down in history as the most important work my White House ever did. I'm proud of everything we've accomplished today, and I think the American people are proud, too.”
But not everyone is happy about the raids. “If they like, waited until after the movie was finished, and released it then, they wouldn't have like, you know, raided and stuff,” said Kim Kardashian, President of Skanks Across America, a union for skanky, disgusting, talentless celebrity women. “The SAA is going to like, fight the like, government on this!”
“We have some of the most powerful women in the world in the SAA,” Kardashian continued. “The list is like, me and the other Kardashians, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Snooki and the other Jersey Shore women, all of the Real Housewives, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, the Spice Girls, and everyone in John Edwards' little black book. We're going to help Octomom by whatever means necessary, even if it means we need to like, sleep with everyone in Washington DC!” - Return to Previous Page
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