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Birthers question wood used to build Mitt Romney, say mannequin contains foreign parts
6/25/2012 9:32 AM Matt Rock -
For the second time this year, birthers are going after Mitt Romney. But while their last claims questioned whether his Father was a legal US citizen, the fringe conspiracy theorists are altering their attacks this time around, questioning whether the wood used in building Mitt Romney, America's first mannequin-cyborg presidential candidate, was actually grown on American soil.
“If you look really closely at Mitt Romney, past the sanding and staining, painting and polishing, you can spot some features of the wood used to make him that are consistent with that of silver birch trees, which are native to Germany,” said Eric Sparks, a birther and self-proclaimed “wood analyst” from the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia. “If the wood used to make him is from a different country, does it really matter if he was manufactured here? I think that makes him more German than American, doesn't it?”
However, the Romney campaign was quick to defend itself against the birther theories. “Every element of Mitt Romney was grown and processed right here in the United States,” said Romney Campaign Manager Matt Rhoades. “We have his quality inspection certificate, his instruction manual, and affidavits signed by the staff that worked on him. Mitt Romney is a full-blooded American. Well, he doesn't have blood, but you know what I mean.”
But while the Romney campaign claims their evidence is solid, some birthers present further evidence of their own. “We know, for a fact, that the Sears company factory that produced Mitt Romney used German silver birch for a number of mannequins also built around then. They started using it shortly after the second World War, sometime in late 1946, and they used it predominantly until 1968. Mitt Romney was built in March of 1947. You expect us to believe Mitt Romney is the only mannequin built by Sears Roebuck in all of 1947 using American wood, and not German wood? What a crock!” - Return to Previous Page
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