Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Obama, Romney trade blame for heat wave
7/1/2012 9:30 AM Matt Rock -
The heatwave that's gripping almost the full nation this weekend has certainly caused tempers to flare. But perhaps the angriest voices of them all belong to the two men competing for the presidency... incumbent President Barack Obama, and his rival, presumptive GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney.
“I think it's pretty obvious that Obama caused this heat wave,” Romney proclaimed, speaking at an early morning fundraiser breakfast earlier today. “This is what happens when you regulate the free markets. It makes businesses unwilling to crank up their air conditioning and open their doors and windows, which would cool the air throughout Amercia... sorry, I mean `America.' If they tried that, this administration would cry foul and scream about global warming, which isn't really a thing, because if it was, we'd be in the middle of a continental heat wave right now, which we are! Why doesn't Obama care about the environment?”
A few moments later, President Obama made a similar comment about Romney, while also speaking at a fundraising event. “This heatwave has many contributing factors. Some are natural, and some are man-made. But factories, like the mannequin factory that manufactured Mitt Romney, definitely play a substantial role in climate change. Now, I'm not saying Mitt Romney is at fault here, but this heatwave is totally Mitt Romney's fault, because that stupid jerk hates the poor!”
One scientist, however, offers a different explanation for the heat wave. “I've been studying heat wave cycles. They seem to come every four years, always during election years. My theory is that politicians -- not just presidential candidates, but candidates in other races, too – are causing global warming themselves. Because more than factories, automobiles, farms releasing tons of methane into the atmosphere, or any other source, politicians produce the most hot air of anyone or anything.” - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Nick Di Paolo Live at the Drafthouse Comedy Theater
 Na'im Lynn Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 James Adomian Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
 Fortune Feimster Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Andy Dick Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Sean Patton from Late night with Jimmy Fallon and Conan at LivingSocial's 918 F Street June 14th & 15th


Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|