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Canada tightens border patrols as Conservatives flee Obamacare
7/1/2012 3:55 PM Matt Rock -
The nation of Canada has beefed up their border security this weekend, adding thousands of new police officers, military personnel, and Mounties to almost the full land border between their country and the United States. Canadian officials have noted a surge in attempted illegal border crossings by American Conservatives, most of whom have expressed anger over the Supreme Court's recent decision regarding the Affordable Care Act, aka “Obamacare.”
“We've stopped close to 4,300 illegal American immigrants from crossing the border, eh,” said Sergeant Major Fred Brown of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. “They've been coming over in droves, eh. Big packs of 'em, you know? I stopped nearly two dozen myself, just aboot. They've all been ranting and raving aboot that Obamacare, don't-cha-know? But we usually just tell them we have full-blown publicly-funded health care, eh, and they look like a kid that just dropped their ice cream cone. That sends them back pretty quick, eh.”
Members of Canada's Parliament have been in an uproar all weekend regarding the illegal border crossings. One Parliamentary official points out that American Conservatives – many of whom railed against Mexicans crossing illegally into the United States and supported making English the official language of the US – are incapable of speaking both English and French, the two national languages of Canada, while further observing that they're barely capable of speaking English, even though it's the only language they know.
Meanwhile, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper reportedly spent the morning communicating with President Barack Obama, asking that the United States government play a more active role in thwarting the crossings. One Harper aide spoke with us briefly about those conversations. “The US government needs to do a better job of actually informing their citizens of what Obamacare will actually do for people, as opposed to what hyperbolic talking heads are `claiming' it will do. Because we really don't want these people in our country, taking our jobs and drinking our syrup!” - Return to Previous Page
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