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Inspired by Scranton PA, Joe Biden suggests minimum wage for all federal workers
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7/8/2012 10:01 AM Matt Rock - Vice President Joe Biden managed to spark a controversy earlier today, after he announced that he'd ask President Obama to reduce the wages of all federal employees to the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour. Biden says he was inspired by Scranton, Pennsylvania Mayor Chris Doherty, who temporarily reduced the pay of all of the city's employees, including police officers and firefighters, to minimum wage in an effort to keep the city from going completely broke.

“Mayor Doherty is a smart guy. This could solve the debt crisis completely!” said Biden, not realizing he was marching into another of his famous gaffes. “I can't speak for everyone else, even though I usually do, but I'm totally willing to take a huge pay cut. I'm the Vice President. My job is to break ties and wait around for the President to have a car accident. Why do I even make a salary anyway?”

Biden suggests that all federal employees – including the President, White House staff, members of the House and Senate, government regulatory employees, military personnel, and others – should make no more than $7.25 per hour. And while many private-sector conservatives have largely backed Biden's new stance, most Republicans in the House and Senate have been up in arms over the suggestion.

“People always say members of the Congress should take pay cuts, but they don't understand that we don't make much money to begin with,” said House Speaker and Mr. Tan Universe 2010, 2011, and 2012 John Boehner. “A congressman only makes a crummy salary of just $174,000 per year. We have to scrape by with the $4 million to $8 million we get each day from lobbyists that buy and sell our votes and trade them around Capitol Hill like Monopoly money. I don't know what the poverty line is, but I'll bet you I'm close to living on it! And I do all this for America and freedom!”

President Obama reportedly ordered Biden to his room, saying he was grounded until further notice. The White House has thus far refused to comment on Biden's suggestion, which doesn't surprise anyone, because none of them are too keen on the idea of only earning minimum wage. Nobody is.
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