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Romney jumps 10% in polls after major brain surgery/ RAM upgrade
7/9/2012 3:49 PM Matt Rock
Mitt Romney has gained major momentum coming out of this past weekend. Not only has his presidential campaign managed to raise $35 million more than President Obama's, but he's now enjoying a major boost in polling data after enduring a full replacement of the RAM (Random Access Memory) installed in his cybernetic brain.
Sunday morning, Romney checked in at a computer lab on the outskirts of Boston, Massachusetts to undergo the delicate operation of swapping out his old RAM for the newer, faster RAM. He also underwent a full CCleaner regiment, including a registry cleaning, a virus scan, and a defrag.
Campaign officials state that Romney was previously operating with 1 GB of DDR2 1066 (PC2 8500) RAM. After the operation, however, he is functioning with 8 GB of DDR3 1333 (PC3 10660) RAM. They also point out that “hardly anyone knows what the crap that means,” but they want to assure voters “it's way better, like when you add bacon to something that didn't have bacon before.”
“I wasn't going to vote for Romney. He's Vista, and Obama is Windows 7,” said one nerdy-looking person we street-interviewed in Washington, DC. “But now, Romney is like, Windows 8. But every other Windows operating system is garbage, so I think I'm on the fence now. I'll probably just vote for Obama again and wait for Windows 9 to come out in a few years.” - Return to Previous Page
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