Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Sarah Palin reacts to rumors that Condoleezza Rice is on Romney's VP short list
7/14/2012 3:05 PM Matt Rock -
Early this morning, former half-term Alaska Governor Sarah Palin issued a press statement to every major news outlet in the United States, voicing her opinion on reports that former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is on the short list to join Mitt Romney's presidential ticket as a VP choice. Other news organizations are apparently opting to ignore Palin's reasonably brief written statement. But PTP? Hell yes we're going to publish that crap! So, without further delay, here is the full press release issued by Palin herself, with no editing or corrections made. Enjoy!
Dear lamestream liberal media,
I'm Sarah Palin don't-cha-know, and gosh darn it, I'm pretty peeved that Mitt Romney is talking about Condoleezza Rice being his Vice President. I had to speak up on this, and since my daughter's crummy reality TV show is on the skids, this is really the only chance I'll get to speak my mind, and to tell the real America what all of us momma grizzlies think about Mitt Romney's decision.
We've all been waiting in precipitation for Mitt to tell the world who he'll pick to be his vice president. Drudge Report is saying Rice is on the short list, so that means she will be his pick, you betcha! But you know, that just don't seem fair to me. I have to ask, you know, what's going on his his head, and wonder if, you know, how might this all be different if we didn't fight Hitler in the American Revolution, and why is July 4th only celebrated once each year, and Obama, but pancakes? No thanks, I'm not hungry for pancakes!
And that's why I think Mitt should pick me, Sarah Palin, to be his vice president. I can't promise him that I'd not go rogue on him, I can't help it, I'm mavericky! But Condoleezza is a bachelor, but a woman, and I'm married, but to a man, and traditional family values. Also, I play the flute!
So my message to Mitt Romney is this, don't-cha-know. Your making the wrong choice in picking you're VP candidate and your going to wish you picked me because I can help you're campaign, and don't let the lamestream media tell you I'm confusing how to spell “your” with their gotcha questions because public education is liberally bias, and also, remember cassette tapes? They said “bias” on them! Liberal media!
Yours truly,
Sarah Palin - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
 Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
 Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
 Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse


Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|