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Mitt Romney chats with PTP during Friday interview blitz
7/14/2012 8:05 PM Matt Rock -
Fighting off an onslaught of questions revolving around when he actually left Bain Capital, Mitt Romney ran a press gauntlet on Friday in the hopes of killing the story. He offered interviews to six major national news outlets – CNN, Fox News, ABC, NBC, CBS, and PTP – with his eyes on putting the story to rest. But as you'll learn from his brief interview with Pardon the Pundit, which we're sharing here uninterrupted, the story doesn't seem to want to die just yet, sort of like that blonde Fabio-like dude in Die Hard.
PTP (Matt): Hey Mitt, thanks for sitting down with us.
Romney: No problem Matt, always great to see you guys. Uh... what is Alyson reading?
PTP (Matt): Oh, she just got “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I had to prod her with a stick to get her into the car, she hasn't stopped reading it.
PTP (Alyson): Don't use the words “prod,” “stick,” or “car” right now.
PTP (Matt): Okay... uh... so, yeah! Anyway... Mitt. You claim that you left Bain Capital in February of 1999. But evidence keeps mounting that you stayed on until at least 2002...
PTP (Alyson): Mounting! Damn it Matt! Stop saying stuff that makes me... I need to... wow, on a pool table? Hurry this up!
Romney: Let me respond to that question, Matt. Applesauce.
PTP (Matt): What?
Romney: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
PTP (Alyson): BANANA!
Romney: Exactly!
PTP (Matt): Sir, that doesn't answer the question though. In fact, it doesn't really answer any...
Romney: Obama is lying!
PTP (Matt): Come again?
PTP (Alyson): Yes please!
Romney: Obama is lying about Bain Capital! He's telling a big, thick, juicy, rock-hard, vein-packed, throbbing lie!
PTP (Alyson): Interview's over Mitt, thanks for your time!
PTP (Matt): What? NO! We didn't even get a straight answer out of him!
Romney: Mitt 6, media 0! To the Mittmobile! Romney, out! - Return to Previous Page
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