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Romney shows up at baseball game in football outfit, says Obama is out of touch
7/17/2012 8:05 PM Matt Rock -
Mitt Romney appeared in the battleground state of Ohio earlier today, briefly addressing a crowd attending a minor league baseball game. But when Romney walked out to the pitcher's mound to tell the audience why they should vote for him in November, he was met with laughter and jeers... probably because he was dressed head to toe in football regalia.
“Hooray for sports!” Romney announced, seemingly not noticing the roars of laughter from the audience as he spoke into the stadium's public address microphone. “This game is a great American pass-time, just like eating apple pie, or driving an American car, or eating apple pie while you drive your American car and flip off the dozens of people you'd just fired through the window. The owner of this team is a friend of mine, and I'd like to thank him for letting me come out here and speak with you all today.”
Romney took his helmet off, holding it to his waist like a fighter pilot. “Folks, I'm not sure if you saw the news last night, but Obama was booed by a whole audience of sports fans, because he refused to kiss his wife when a camera landed on them. Well I say that's hogwash! I'd kiss my wife right here in front of all of you, if my wife weren't busy doing stay-at-home mom things, like getting a pedicure and making sure our Mexican gardeners aren't stealing things.”
“You know, Rush Limbaugh recently said Obama hates America, and I'm starting to think he's right. This great American sport...” Romney paused, looking down at his hand for a moment before continuing. “baseball... is a game about bases, and balls, and freedom, and the free markets! I totally understand that. I'd like to see Barack Obama try his hand at sports! You'll never see him playing basketball or baseball or anything like that! That's because he hates capitalism!”
The audience exploded in laughter. Some in attendance tried to yell that President Obama is an avid basketball player, but Romney apparently couldn't hear their shouts. “I'll be your most athletic President. I'll fight for a healthier America. Just look at Massachusetts and how successful Romneycare has been! Why hasn't Obama tried anything like that? I'll tell you why... socialism! So vote for me, Mitt Romney. I'm so good at capitalism, people cry when they look at my track record!” - Return to Previous Page
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