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Joe Biden petitioning International Olympic Committee to include golfing in 2012
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7/28/2012 6:07 PM Matt Rock - Vice President Joe Biden reached out to the International Olympic Committee today, urging the IOC to include golf in the 2012 Olympic games in London. Biden explained to reporters that he himself should get to compete as an Olympic golfer, and that if President Barack Obama would join him in the games, they would “definitely take home the gold.”

“We'd be an unstoppable team,” Biden explained. “The other countries wouldn't know what hit 'em! I didn't ask Barack if he'd want to, but come on, it's the Olympics! The man has a Nobel prize, so adding a gold medal to his collection would be pretty sweet!”

The IOC was quick to snap out a response to Biden's request. “The 2012 games are already taking place. It's too late to add a new event. However, we, the IOC, decided in October of 2009 that golfing would be included in the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We do acknowledge that golfing is NOT a sport, and that mini-golf is way more fun to watch and play, but our committee has just enough older rich guys on it that golf is making an Olympic comeback. If Joe Biden is still Vice President in 2016, we wouldn't object to his participation in the games.”

President Obama reportedly phoned Biden shortly after the press conference, seemingly reprimanding him for talking out of turn. It remains unclear whether Biden will be grounded and sent to his room for the impromptu IOC request, but we can confirm that every time President Obama yells at Biden, he cries and says that he wishes he was still in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
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