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Mitt Romney attacks Newsweek “wimp” headline, points out all of his bullying
7/31/2012 7:05 AM Matt Rock -
Mitt Romney has switched modes to defense today, after a recent Newsweek cover and article called him a “wimp.” The presumptive GOP presidential nominee, who is currently on an overseas trip attempting to fit in as many gaffes as he can in England, Israel, and Poland, responded harshly to the use of the word, saying that it wasn't a fair or accurate portrayal of who he really is.
“It isn't a fair or accurate portrayal of who I really am,” Romney said, proving that unlike the Romney campaign, PTP never takes quotes out of context. “I mean, come on, my bullying street cred is undeniable. I'm like, the king of the bullies! And if America elects me to be their next president, I'll see to it that our nation bullies the rest of the world like never before!”
We asked Romney to show off his bullying resume. “In prep school, I bullied a gay kid, pinned him down, and cut his hair. I stuffed a living dog into a carrier and strapped it to a car roof, like some scene out of a National Lampoon's `Vacation' movie. And let's not forget all of the corporate bullying I did through Bain Capital! I'm so good at bullying, it made me wealthy enough to afford car elevators for my garages. You can't find a more impressive bully than me out there!”
Romney will prove his bullying credentials to Newsweek, when he directs Bain Capital to buy the magazine and liquidate all of its holdings. However, he says that this won't actually happen, because he no longer holds an official title at Bain. He did spend quite a bit of time winking immediately after, but we think he just had something stuck in his eye. - Return to Previous Page
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