Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Congress now less popular than smelly feet, polls show
8/16/2012 7:05 AM Matt Rock -
This week, The United States Congress has managed to reach an all-time low with voters. 99.4% of respondents to our PTP/ PPP/ ABC/ CNN/ AWD/ OMG poll resoundingly stated that they would much prefer to smell, handle, and even lick smelly human feet, rather than say one positive thing about the House or the Senate.
Respondents rated congress beneath anchovies as a pizza topping, spilling a drink in your lap five minutes before an important job interview, the twinkliness of Twilight vampires, and eating food of any sort at Applebee's.
Congress' stunningly terrible approval rating is so bad that 93.9% of all respondents, male and female, of all age demographics, said they would rather have unprotected sex in a coffin in the middle of a shopping mall, while family members watched, with Snooki of “Jersey Shore” fame, TWICE, than invite a single member of Congress into their home for dinner, once.
“Would I rather smell or handle smelly feet than let Congress stay in power? Absolutely!” said Nicole Dallas, 34, of... Dallas? Wow, that's ironic. “Smelly feet can be washed. I can get a rag and clean them, then they're just feet. And if you don't let me clean them, eh, I can live with the odor for a while. But Congress? I'd rather get open genital sores and put pictures of them on Facebook than shake one of their hands. Yep. That bad!” - Return to Previous Page
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