Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Congress now less popular than smelly feet, polls show
8/16/2012 7:05 AM Matt Rock
This week, The United States Congress has managed to reach an all-time low with voters. 99.4% of respondents to our PTP/ PPP/ ABC/ CNN/ AWD/ OMG poll resoundingly stated that they would much prefer to smell, handle, and even lick smelly human feet, rather than say one positive thing about the House or the Senate.
Respondents rated congress beneath anchovies as a pizza topping, spilling a drink in your lap five minutes before an important job interview, the twinkliness of Twilight vampires, and eating food of any sort at Applebee's.
Congress' stunningly terrible approval rating is so bad that 93.9% of all respondents, male and female, of all age demographics, said they would rather have unprotected sex in a coffin in the middle of a shopping mall, while family members watched, with Snooki of “Jersey Shore” fame, TWICE, than invite a single member of Congress into their home for dinner, once.
“Would I rather smell or handle smelly feet than let Congress stay in power? Absolutely!” said Nicole Dallas, 34, of... Dallas? Wow, that's ironic. “Smelly feet can be washed. I can get a rag and clean them, then they're just feet. And if you don't let me clean them, eh, I can live with the odor for a while. But Congress? I'd rather get open genital sores and put pictures of them on Facebook than shake one of their hands. Yep. That bad!” - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.