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Klan tries to distance itself from Tea Party
8/2/2011 9:00 AM Floyd Harden -
The Ku Klux Klan, in an effort to protect its reputation, is taking steps to distance itself from the Tea Party. In a wide-ranging interview clearly intended to burnish the Klan’s public image, Grand Imperial Wizard Charlie T. Pickford told a reporter from the Georgia Herald that the KKK doesn’t want to be associated with beliefs held by Tea Party followers. According to Pickford, “Them people are nut jobs. You get two of ‘em together at a Klan function and all they wanna do is gripe about `national debt' this and `no new taxes' that, and next thing you know, all the fun’s been sucked out of the cross burnin’, or lynchin’, or family picnic, or what have you.”
Later in the interview, Pickford gave what many Klan observers believe is the real reason Tea Partiers are not considered Klan worthy. “You got to stand up for somethin’. I mean, sure, we might be a bunch of ignorant, knuckle draggin’, hate spewin’, lowlife racists, but underneath our hoods we’re standin’ up and takin’ our place as the best humanity’s got to offer. Them Tea Party wussies, they don’t stand up for nothin’. They’re all just against stuff. Hell, they got no moral compass. Makes me sick to my damn stomach!”
Pickford went on to say that the KKK bears no ill will toward Barack Obama, the first African American U.S. President. “Yeah, when he got elected, we was lower than a baby midget snake with a backache. Then our recruitin’ went through the roof and we realized it was on account of Obama. I figure if he gets re-elected we’ll double our national membership. That’s why I’ve told all Klan members to not only vote for Obama in 2012, but to vote for every ni-, uh, I mean, every African- American candidate on the ballot. Can’t hurt, right?”
Asked if voting for an African American for President might be contrary to Klan traditions, Pickford indicated that he might have other reasons for supporting Obama. “Look, sometimes you gotta be practical. Have you heard the crap comin’ out of them other candidates’ mouths? I mean, I may be a bigot, but I sure as hell ain’t crazy.” - Return to Previous Page
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