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Republican group labeled terrorists after unplugging teleprompters at DNC
9/5/2012 7:05 AM Staff -
An unruly group of Tea Party activists have been officially labeled a domestic terrorist organization tonight by the State Department and the Department of Homeland Security, after a team of demonstrators ruthlessly attacked the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, unplugging teleprompters early in the event.
“The terrorists unplugged two teleprompters during the first hour of the convention. They were taken down by tazers and renditioned... uh I mean, `sent on vacation'... to a secret European... uh... hotel,” said Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. “They realize politicians have a hard time speaking without teleprompters. This was a deliberate terrorist attack on the DNC, and we won't stand for it!”
Technicians scrambled to reconnect the two disabled teleprompters as quickly as they could. But the teleprompters were knocked out during the convention's voting on rules, leaving some analysts speculating that there are no rules whatsoever for the DNC. This has left many fearful that former President Bill Clinton, who is slated to speak at the convention tonight, may drop his trousers and make a series of sexual advances toward Democratic Party Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, though others believe Wasserman-Schultz is too attractive to draw Clinton's predatory behavior. - Return to Previous Page
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