Pardon The Pundit News Feed
President Obama's speech-prep revealed!
9/6/2012 8:06 PM Matt Rock
Approximately one hour after this article is published on PTP, President Barack Obama will deliver one of the most critical speeches of his reelection campaign at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina. The bar has been raised for President Obama, too, with incredible speeches having already been delivered by former President Bill Clinton, First Lady Michelle Obama, Newark NJ Mayor Cory Booker, and Missouri Representative Emanuel Cleaver. Some pundits question whether the president will be able to top those speeches, which has definitely made the president a little nervous.
How does the president prepare for a big speech like this? How does he schedule his day to make sure he doesn't drop the ball? To find out, PTP has researched his daily schedule, conversed with White House and campaign staff, and totally didn't make the whole thing up. Let's find out how President Obama prepared for the most important speech of the campaign to date!
7:38 am: Obama woke up, took a quick shower, and smoked three cigarettes while eating his breakfast, which consisted of pancakes, eggs, another cigarette, bacon, an orange, another cigarette, and some juice, before smoking another cigarette.
8:23 am: Obama smoked a cigarette, and then jogged with his Secret Service detail for half an hour, stopping only once to smoke a cigarette, before smoking a cigarette. After that, he did “president stuff” for most of the day, with cigarettes every 10 to 15 minutes.
4:55 pm: Obama sat down for a late lunch with Michelle, who asked Barack if he smelled cigarette smoke. The president flatly denied the allegations. Some believe he may have been coached by former President Clinton in the fine art of denial.
6:45 pm: The president met with key campaign staffers, speech writers, and two packs of cigarettes to rehearse his speech, pausing after each sentence to smoke a cigarette, before lighting up one final cigarette and assuring Jim Messina that he wouldn't break out a pack of smokes during his live speech.
8:19 pm: Joe Biden decided he'd personally be more comfortable delivering his speech tonight if he weren't wearing pants. President Obama was forced to stop smoking cigarettes twice while arguing with his vice president about the values and necessity of trousers. After nearly thirty minutes of bickering, the president was definitely ready for another cigarette.
8:45 pm: President Obama was due to sit down with PTP for an exclusive pre-speech interview. However, he was forced to cancel on us, noting that he really needed a cigarette to calm his nerves.
With this article being published at 9:05 pm, we won't know until tonight how the president's speech will play out. We can say this much as a fact, though: While we can't confirm if he's relaxed or not, that man smells like an isolated smoker's room in a busy airport. Chew on that tonight while you're watching the president's speech live on YouTube! - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Hal Sparks Live at the Drafthouse
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.