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Recent Survey Show Voters Favor Candidates Who Lie
6/16/2011 5:03 AM Floyd
A recent poll conducted by PTP Voter Surveys has resulted in some stunning revelations about the American electorate. The poll, conducted by phone over a three minute period last Tuesday evening, indicates that American voters are far more likely than at any time in the past to choose a candidate based on the candidate’s ability to look directly into a camera and lie.
When asked what they liked most about the candidate of their choice, respondents chose “ability to lie on TV” by a two to one margin over “looks good in a thong” and by five to one over “has a strong command of the issues”.
Among Democrats, candidates who lie with a Southern drawl were favored by a margin of seven to one over those who lie using “big words that are just too hard”. Republicans preferred “good looking candidates who talk out of both sides of their mouths” to “truth-bending hotties who used to be governor of Alaska” by a three to one margin.
Informed of this last result, a spokesperson for Mitt Romney insisted that Romney’s Massachusetts health care plan “does not even remotely resemble Obamacare.” President Obama pointed to the poll results as “proof that the American economy is turning the corner, winning the future, and changing the way Washington does business.” Responding via Twitter, Sarah Palin went over her allotted 145 characters.
Moderate Republicans were not surveyed because there’s no such thing.
Democrats who support President Obama were not surveyed because the liberal elite refuse to allow a ringing phone to interrupt stimulating dinner conversation about solar power, baby seals and which Clinton is smarter, Hillary or Chelsea.
Because Independents, with their reputation for fickleness, were included in the polling, the survey has a margin of error of plus or minus 93 percentage points. - Return to Previous Page
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