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Bill Clinton to seek third term
8/20/2011 8:30 AM Floyd Harden -
Citing what he described as “compelling personal reasons that leave me no choice in the matter,” former President Bill Clinton announced this morning that he will seek a third term.
The 42nd President made the announcement outside a McDonald’s restaurant in Little Rock, Arkansas. Between bites of his Egg McMuffin and sips from his diet coke, Clinton pointed out some of the highlights of his Presidency. “We turned a deficit into a surplus, instituted welfare reform, put an end the killings in former Yugoslavia and, uh, introduced the world to Hillary Clinton.”
During the announcement, the former first lady and current Secretary of State Hillary Clinton looked on, texting on her smart phone as her husband spoke at length of the challenges that, in his words, “require a Clintonian approach." Several times during the event, the former President’s phone buzzed, prompting him to take a moment to read the screen, then go on to say something complimentary about his wife. At one point, he was holding forth on the North American Free Trade Agreement when his phone buzzed, he glanced down and without missing a beat said, “and speaking of NAFTA, wouldn’t Hillary make a great co-President?”
Immediately after his announcement, Clinton faced questions about the constitutionality of seeking a third term. He responded in his familiar drawl. “Y’all know I’m just a poor old country boy from a place called Hope who had his second term wrecked by an overzealous special prosecutor lookin’ to nail me for a minor indiscretion…” At this point Clinton’s phone buzzed. “…and to answer your question, yes, I’m darned lucky my wise, understanding, Presidential-looking wife didn’t follow her first instinct to just cut little Willey right off.”
Asked if he was being pressured to run, Clinton checked his phone once more. “Hold on a sec. Uh… nope. This decision is mine alone, uh… although I did consult with my family, especially my brilliant, experienced, sexy, uh, no, not sexy, more like… wait… okay, yes, I guess… yes that says sexy. Hey, isn’t Hillary sexy, everyone?”
Asked what role Mrs. Clinton would play in a Bill Clinton White House, the candidate’s slightly bemused response spoke volumes, “Have you met my wife?” - Return to Previous Page
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