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4/30/2011 10:23 PM Patricia - Still basking in the glow of his Transparency Award, given in a private, closed door ceremony where the press was not allowed, the president took time out of his busy campaign schedule to hold a brief press conference. After the long awaited release of his much ballyhooed birth certificate, the president told reporters that, while he was glad this debate was over he has more important matters to deal with right now. “We don’t have time for this kind of silliness”, he said. However questions were cut short as the president was running late for his interview Oprah.

In light of the document’s release, Republican Majority Leader, John Boehner wept as he announced the a change in the birther strategy. They are now conducting an investigation into whether Oprah and Obama are related. According to unconfirmed GOP sources, even though Obama in skinny and Oprah is fat, they both bring fame to the letter “O” and their favorability numbers are simultaneously tanking.

Meanwhile, not to be outplayed by an evil, rich white man with bad hair, the irate Whoopi Goldberg was immediately compelled to announce her decision to trump Donald with her race card.

In belated honor of earth day, the eco friendly president skipped his traditional 15 car, SUV motorcade and walked from the white house to Air Force One. In a rare demonstration of his power, the president took a short-cut and walked upon the water of the Washington monument reflecting pool.

It was later learned that, in his excitement of possibly serving a second term of irrelevance as Vice President, an open microphone caught Joe Biden exclaiming, “this is f*cking huge”.
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